Softly, I Leave You

Today I left Ohio. For how long I have no idea, but it will always be home. Just because it is home doesn't mean that home that I will stay home or return home. Its a place I feel save and know, can I ever be as happy or sad as I was in the past. I don't feel that Ohio is a place I can grow and develop anymore. It's a great place to grow up and have roots but it not were I want to settle. In retro spec, I don't think I want to stay in one area and settle for too long. My idea of the world is to see with my own blue eyes not just in pictures or books. My feelings are I need to travel and doing these things. It is one of the reason why I am sitting in Philly and on my way to Africa. To experiencing something that is exciting and scarey at the same time.  But leaving today was very hard, after leaving breakfast this morning I had to hold back my tears. I couldn't look at my father because I knew the tears would come, so I turned up the music and distracted myself. Doing this you have to detach yourself some ways to do this because once it is so hard to leave everyone you know. I am missing my sister moving. my brother going to the police academy, watching my cousin grow, having weekly dinners going to cars shows with my dad and getting ice cream. These ideas I can not think about but the things I will gain as I go to Africa, the chances to see real wildlife, grow, find my passion, have a simple life and see myself making a difference. I have so many personal and professional goals while I am in the Peace Corps. I hope to have stared or finished by the time I get to December. Each month I hope to start a list, this way I can have small goals and work towards something. That is one thing that I am very much looking forward to in Africa, living day to day and not too much in the future. Time moves so fast that a slow down pace is going to be a great thing for me because I tend to move so fast so I don't to think about anything. Especially home but I know that home provides support and love. These are two things I am going to need when I tough times. I need home to say that I can make it through and finish my daily goals. Home I had to leave softly and quickly. That was the start of day ones goal. Tomorrow is just making it to Tanzania. Again Ill be leaving Philly on a bus, to New Jersey, Amersterdam and finally to Tanzania where the adventure starts. Bu