Monday, October 10, 2011

Softly, I Leave You

Today I left Ohio. For how long I have no idea, but it will always be home. Just because it is home doesn't mean that home that I will stay home or return home. Its a place I feel save and know, can I ever be as happy or sad as I was in the past. I don't feel that Ohio is a place I can grow and develop anymore. It's a great place to grow up and have roots but it not were I want to settle. In retro spec, I don't think I want to stay in one area and settle for too long. My idea of the world is to see with my own blue eyes not just in pictures or books. My feelings are I need to travel and doing these things. It is one of the reason why I am sitting in Philly and on my way to Africa. To experiencing something that is exciting and scarey at the same time.  But leaving today was very hard, after leaving breakfast this morning I had to hold back my tears. I couldn't look at my father because I knew the tears would come, so I turned up the music and distracted myself. Doing this you have to detach yourself some ways to do this because once it is so hard to leave everyone you know. I am missing my sister moving. my brother going to the police academy, watching my cousin grow, having weekly dinners going to cars shows with my dad and getting ice cream. These ideas I can not think about but the things I will gain as I go to Africa, the chances to see real wildlife, grow, find my passion, have a simple life and see myself making a difference. I have so many personal and professional goals while I am in the Peace Corps. I hope to have stared or finished by the time I get to December. Each month I hope to start a list, this way I can have small goals and work towards something. That is one thing that I am very much looking forward to in Africa, living day to day and not too much in the future. Time moves so fast that a slow down pace is going to be a great thing for me because I tend to move so fast so I don't to think about anything. Especially home but I know that home provides support and love. These are two things I am going to need when I tough times. I need home to say that I can make it through and finish my daily goals. Home I had to leave softly and quickly. That was the start of day ones goal. Tomorrow is just making it to Tanzania. Again Ill be leaving Philly on a bus, to New Jersey, Amersterdam and finally to Tanzania where the adventure starts. Bu

Monday, October 3, 2011

Is Tarzan there?

This is one of the questions my best friend asked me about Tanzania! I am going to miss her random thoughts and ideas. Who else is going to make me laugh as much as her? For that fact who is going to keep me company while everyone is quiet but we don't stop talking about random things. As for my other friends who is going to put me in my place or yell at me for doing something crazy? Who's crazy stories am I going to listen to or dance in their cars? These people can never be replaced in my life. I have so many question that I want answered now but not taking the time to find the answer doesn't allow growth in your life.

For all I know I may find Tarzan in Africa, who is to say that Tarzan wasn't in Tanzania or the country didn't inspire the story. All the animals from the jungle book are in Tanzania except the bear because I am pretty sure bears are not in Africa. But all the others are, so if I find Tarzan, I will say I am Jane! Then I will remember my best friends words and remember home. Because they will always be with me and never replaced. But for awhile Africa will be my home. A new place to have a new family and friends. A way to learn new skills, break old habits, start new habits and really become me.

I have high hopes for Africa. To me Africa is the place for healing, meeting some of my personal and professional goals, get back in shape, have a tan, impact someone, leave my mark, be remembered, have a lasting spot in my heart for Africa and the people I meet while on my journey.
  "We must leave our marks on life while we have it it in our power,"
"If I know a song of Africa, of the giraffe and the African new moon lying on her back, of the plows in the fields and the sweaty faces of the coffee pickers, does Africa have a song of me? Will the air over the plain quiver with a color that I have had on, or the children invent a game in which my name is, or the full moon throw a shadow over the gravel of the drive that was like me, or will the eagle of the Ngong Hills look out for me? " Out of Africa

These are the things that I will be thinking about, will I create my own song of Africa and will they make a song of me or will I be forgotten like the last fall. On my last day in Africa, I hope to be able to answer these questions. I am ready for this trip to start, one week and I will be in my new home, keeping my friends and family in my heart, living with the bare necessity and finding Tarzan!